Scott

I was a shy, computer nerd type of boy who attended a good private school and studied business and law at university. I started using drugs recreationally at university, and although I finished my degrees and started a masters degree I was disillusioned at being unable to find a job at a law firm despite my good grades. I was at a party one night shortly after graduation and people were injecting drugs. I was terrified of it but let someone shoot me up with crystal meth. For me it was instant addiction, and I was on a rampage of crime and drug dealing which ended with me in prison for serious charges (armed robbery with violence) a few months later. I was embarrassed, humiliated, had ruined my potential career at age 21, I had been to jail, and was facing even more serious charges. I bluffed my way into a job managing an internet service provider (this was 1995 and nobody had heard of the internet) and very soon realised the potential of the internet, and set out on a successful career as an internet entrepreneur. The only thing was, over the next decade I could not stop using drugs, no matter how hard I tried.

My addiction progressed over the years, and as well as needing to inject amphetamines and cocaine to function, I needed to smoke dope 50 times a day and take sleeping pills to calm me down. I was out of control. I became paranoid delusional, prone to fits of violence at the slightest provocation (I am a martial arts expert) I rarely left the house without a knife or a gun or both, I used to hear imaginary helicopters following me around all the time, I spent huge periods of my life imagining the imaginary police were about to come crashing through my door any minute. I had the outward trappings of success - big house, drove a Ferrari, beautiful girlfriend. Internally I was living a miserable, shallow, frightened existence, and I was completely powerless to control my use of drugs. I hated myself.

In 2002 I kidnapped and tortured some thieves who had broken into my house, and I was facing prison yet again. I had every reason to stop using, and tried my best, but I simply could not stop, and in fact my addiction got worse, and I continued to get arrested for new crimes, and my behavior spiraled out of control even further.

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