We moved so much and I had to change schools so many times! My parents split a final time after many fights when I was nine. I was put into abusive children's institutions. I couldn't live with either of my parents. I struggled to find any reason to think that life was worthwhile or could ever be okay for me. I got in trouble with police, mostly over drugs or “absconding”. I took a lot of drugs just trying to feel okay. I lived on the streets and slept in parks at times. I thought there was no way out of this endless struggle. I felt so lonely, even in a crowd, like no one understood. Why couldn't they all just leave me alone! Why did life have to hurt so much?!